Weekly Notes from the Head of Upper School, 10/3

Dear Upper School Families,

A few weeks ago I wrote to you about allowing your children to struggle. This week’s message is similar but focuses more on how we share our feelings with our children, instead of how our children are feeling. Parents sometimes feel an enormous amount of pressure to assuage the pain that our children feel. It hurts us to see them hurt, and we commiserate because we want them to know we love them, believe in them, and support them. Sometimes, however, what our children want to hear is that how they’re feeling will pass. They want to hear that things aren’t as bad as they feel they are. They don’t want to see US suffer any more than we want to see them suffer.

Although it may seem hard, what we need to be for our children is the happy, calming alternative to how they’re feeling. In fact, it may do more harm to them, and give them more anxiety, to see us be as upset as they are. From a recent article in the Washington Post, “Our reasonable adult reactions help guide our children to theirs (eventually). If it’s not the end of the world, it’s not the end of the world, even if it feels as though nothing will ever be the same after the big loss or the gargantuan mistake.”

It’s important for us to let our children experience their emotions, and for our children to know that we care for them. But they should see their parents as the reasonable, rational guide to help them through it. When we react the same way they are reacting, it reinforces the idea that what is happening really is the end of the world. Of course, as adults, we know that forgetting to turn in an assignment isn’t the end of the world. It’s important for students to understand that they can make mistakes, and bad things can happen, and they will still be okay.

For more from the Washington Post article, click here.

Support our school by shopping through Amazon Smile (smile.amazon.com) on #WorldSmileDay, Friday, October 5th. Log in using your Amazon account, select “Palm Valley School” as your charity, and a portion of everything you buy will benefit the PVS Parent Association!

For families of Freshmen, and/or new-to-the-school families, the PSATs are the practice SAT test. All of our ninth through eleventh grade students will take the PSAT at our school on Wednesday, October 10th. It is important for students to be familiar with the experience so that if they decide to take the SAT or ACT in preparation for the college admissions process, they will feel prepared and not overwhelmed at the prospect. We do not ask students to study or prepare in any way. The scores on this test will not be seen by prospective colleges, only by the school, the student, and their families. Just have your student get a good night’s sleep, and have a hearty breakfast, and they’ll be ready for the day.

Service Learning Hours Reminder
The Upper School will log all of a student’s volunteer service hours each year. We use these total logged hours to determine eligibility for the President’s Volunteer Service Award. However, ONLY hours earned through a NON-PROFIT, registered 501(c)3 organization, will count for the 40-hour service requirement for the school. If you are unclear as to whether your student’s volunteer work fulfills the service learning requirement, please ask Ms. Steinman.

October Dinner Out
Do you want a fun family night out while benefiting Palm Valley School? Mark your calendar for Thursday, October 18th - it’s “Pizza With a Purpose.” Dine all day, from 11:00 am to 10:00 pm at California Pizza Kitchen. 20% of dine-in, takeout, catering and beverages benefits PVS. Please present this flyer.

Fall Festival
Our Annual Fall Festival is coming up on Saturday, October 27th from 3 pm - 6 pm. There are games, booths, a costume contest, and activities for all ages and admission is FREE! This event is open to the public, so invite your neighbors and friends to attend, too - RSVP today.

PVS Events Pass
Save $85 on our fundraising events this year with a PVS Events Pass! This $300 Pass includes a ticket to Wine Night (November 9th, 2018), our Annual "Puttin' on the Ritz" Gala (March 2nd, 2019), and the Fashion Week El Paseo reception (March 21st, 2019 - includes premier seating to the runway show). Purchase at pvs.org/winenight18.

Lost & Found
Items that have been left around campus will be on display in the lobby of the Upper School for the next week. Items that aren’t claimed will be disposed of.

Upcoming Dates
10/3 - Student Led Conferences
10/5 - #WorldSmileDay shop online at smile.amazon.com to support PVS!
10/8 - NO SCHOOL (Professional Development)
10/9 - Senior Night, US Volleyball Game, 7 pm
10/10 - PSATs for grades 9-11 (No school for seniors)
10/14 - Open House, 1 pm - 3 pm
10/18 - October Dinner Out - CPK on El Paseo
10/27 - Fall Festival, 3 pm - 6 pm
11/9 - Sips for Success Wine Night, 6 pm in the Lower School Courtyard

Ms. Steinman
Head of Upper School